Today, I would like to share one conversation I couldn’t agree much on and I thought I could share and hear what you think about it.
What is the best job description of Domestic maids and where do you draw the line?
“This question of your domestic maids making your hubbies bed is something I have always wanted to talk about here. Irrespective of how compact your day might be, please never let your house help handle your husband’s bed, his underwears and better still his bedroom. We who have been domestic maids if only opened up and talked about the dilemmas this has put us and your marriages into, maybe for giving it more time or by virtue of trying to be more perfect than you in those duties we wouldn’t finish this year.
I was shocked to see how ignorant some of us can be. Our men are turned on by very small things, mostly acts of kindness and neatness. If you’re the kind of a wife that’s so busy that you forget your bedroom’s tidiness, please let it remain so even after you’ve employed a domestic maid. Don’t let her be the one to bring order into it. You’ll be risking your marital health. I love the kind of couple that works as a team; like the last out of bed will make the bed and everyone will keep their things in order as the wife takes over cleaning the room.
It always works for those of us who made the boundaries clear before the onset of marriage. For those of us who have hubbies who degraded into big babies after marriage coz they thought it’s a wife’s thing, too bad and that’s why I advise ladies to not play wives before they’re married so that you’ll know where your prospective hubby has a weakness and correct him as you make things clear on what you can and can’t tolerate.
Back to the domestic maids, Like in my case, I would iron the sheets before I make the bed and change sheets like 4 times a week, which the wife had never done. I was expected to handle even his underwears which also used to iron with the other clothes late after feeding the kids and sometimes he too would be around. Mostly I would be the door opener too and since I’m not in a fight with him, I would definitely usher him in with a smile. The husbands in both cases were so appreciative and generous with good tips for the excellent service. For those of us who are in hotel/restaurant service, do you tell your boss how much tips you have received? I bet NO. I too 🤐.
The time came and they thought it can advance into other romantic services but I made it clear that I could not compromise the temple of God. But assuming there was a cheap house girl in that house, don’t you think some of those wives would be the ones who have put their marriages at stake? Remember most of these domestic maids are so financially desperate and poor in saying no in such a way that if they’re ushered into romance by your hubby they’ll definitely give in thinking that either the tip will grow bigger or he’ll start tipping her if he had not started and that will solve her financial difficulties better and worse others would want to also be in your husband’s life forever and a good number has succeeded.
I have met their wives in my counseling sessions. Then the wives come here crying expecting our empathy. If she had not allowed her dm into her bedroom would he have gotten to a point of comparison? He would have just been enjoying what the wife does thinking that’s all that can be done. But she pushed the husband to the dm claiming that she’s paying her for the service. Those who have been marriage counselors or mentors know that men with rigid moral values despite the treatment are rare, the rest are pushed and pulled by our actions and words.“
I have tried to understand and discuss the same with most of my friends and we seem to have different opinions on the same issue. what is your take? Do you think this lady is biased? Do you have such a similar experience? Please, feel free to share your opinion, thoughts, and suggestions with me in the comments section or you can just send me a quick email.